Catch Them Doing It Right

Catch them doing it right!  Praise is much more likely to motivate us to do a task well than negative reinforcement.   If we work to “catch our children doing it right,” we not only motivate them to continue doing the task correctly but we enhance their self image.  When you catch a child doing it right, make sure your comments are sincere and specific!  Instead of saying, “Good job!” say,”Good job!   I like the way you organized your toys on the shelf.”  With patient repetition, you’ll be enjoying the results of encouraging the desired behavior.

Give Children Choices

Drill Sergeants may work in the Army but not when it comes to raising children! Give children choices.   If we want children to make good choices when the stakes are high, we must give them opportunities to make decisions when they are toddlers.  

·         Choice is a great way to redirect a child.  For example, if a child is throwing his or her toys you can respond by saying, “You may not throw your toys, but you can toss these balls into the hoop,” or “Help me fold the socks and toss them into the laundry basket.”   Young children need to run, climb, throw and explore.  Your goal should be to find acceptable outlets for these developmentally appropriate activities.

·         Of course, as parents, you need to make the major decisions like which school is best for your child and any issues regarding health and safety  but, whether they wear the red outfit or blue or eat string beans or carrots really does not matter but gives them an opportunity to make a choice between two good alternatives.

·         Choice helps children learn how to make good decisions.

·         Be careful not to give too many choices.  In most cases, two is a good number.

·         Choice let’s children feel they have some control over their own decisions.

·         Giving children some control over their choices shows them you trust their judgment. 

·         Perhaps most importantly, making their own choices helps children learn to be responsible for their decisions.

Taking Memorable Photos!

Photo tips – Memories are created during holiday time and camera lights are flashing!  To make the most of your holiday photos here are a few tips:

Ø  Fill the frame – Make sure your subject is the largest thing in your view finder.

Ø  Check your background - Before you push the button look at your background and move trash containers or move away from messy shelves.

Ø  Watch your lighting – try to avoid taking photos directly in front of windows.  When taking photos outside have your back to the sun.

Ø  Scenery shots – Put a subject in your landscape shots to make them more interesting.  Keep the subject close to you rather than close to the scenery.

Ø  Saving photos – You want to be able to find these treasures to share with Grandchildren some day so make sure you have a system for saving them.  I found the best system for me is to save all my photos by year-month-day and subject, e.g., 2010-12-10 Santa.  It is better to use numerical dates for your photo files since the names of the months aren’t in alphabetical order when spelled out.  Numerical dates will keep your photos grouped together in the order they occurred throughout the year.  Additionally, if you need to search by subject, labeling in this manner will give you easy access.  Thanks to Kangaroo Kids Alumni parent, Bob Miksztal for sharing that tip with me years ago.  It has allowed me to access thousands of files over the years!

Ø  Enjoy creating memories!

Build Relationships With Your Children

Build relationships now!  The old fashioned days of dinner bell at 5:00 and the whole family getting together  for a meal may be a fleeting memory but it is important to make time to share stories, and listen to the events of your child’s day.  Even if you can only manage to arrange a family meal on the weekend or at breakfast time, try to schedule time together that allows for conversation. 

Take time to listen to your child today.  You will be building the foundation for continued good communications for the future, which may not always be easy as your child gets older and begins to assert his independence.  When he or she faces more difficult and challenging decisions, that good connection you established early on will make it easier for him to turn to you with questions and for advice.

Building relationships by:

·         Actively listen

·         Speaking  with children at their eye level

·         Having respectful conversations

·         Asking open ended questions, which are questions that don’t have a one word answer.

·         Planning activities that create memories – serving food at a shelter, creating handmade holiday decorations, or having a family talent night.

·         Taking advantage of spontaneous opportunities that come your way!  Whether it is splashing in a puddle, or baking cookies together, these occasions will be the subject of many “Remember when we…?” conversations in the years to come.

·         Cuddling up together with a good book.

·         Staying involved!  Visit your child’s school; chaperone a dance or a class trip; attend his or her sporting events plays or concerts.  Even though your child may seem a little sheepish at times because it is his or her parent who is at the dance, as they mature the memory of your involvement will have a lasting and positive effect.

It is not always the amount of time you spend but the quality of time you spend with your child.  So, turn off the TV, computer and cell phones and make the time you have together meaningful!

“Please don’t rush me!” Allow time for transitions

“Please don’t rush me!” Allow time for transitions.  When we are engaged in an activity, whether it’s a computer project or reading a great book, most of us need time to switch gears.  Children also need transition time.  Give time for transition by letting your child know what will come next.  “In five minutes we will have to put the toys away so we can leave for school.”  If your child is too young to understand the concept of time you can set an alarm on your phone.  Or use an old fashion egg timer. This provides as a good visual for your child by showing when it is time to transition. 

You can also create a pictorial chart which displays the sequence of the day’s activities.  For bath time, cut out a picture of a child bathing from a parenting magazine, take a digital picture of your child reading a book for story time, and a draw a picture of a bed for time to sleep.  If you create the pictorial schedule with your child, not only is it a great time management tool, but also a lesson in literacy and an activity that helps develop fine motor skills.

In addition to helping your child change his focus from one activity to another, allowing time for transition demonstrates that you respect your child’s time and value his or her play.   Remember “play,” is a child’s work and as such is an important training ground for developing lifelong skills.

Whitehouse Mom's

Whitehouse Mom's – I enjoyed presenting the Parent Workshop entitled “Things To Do With Your Child,” for your organization.  You are a very energetic and creative group of Mom’s.  I love your newsletter!  Thanks for the opportunity to share the information!  Happy Parenting!

Preparing Your Child For Success

Kangaroo Kids hosted an outstanding Parent Workshop last week by certified school psychologist Laura Marchese, entitled “Preparing Your Child For Success,” Here are a few highlights from the workshop:

1.      Attitude - Encourage a positive attitude. Listen to your child’s comments to understand how they feel about themselves.

2.      Ability – Pay attention to what your child is good at and encourage them to develop their abilities in that area.  Indentify areas where you child may be lacking, and work to build those skills as well so they can become well rounded.  Children who focus on developing abilities they have are much more likely to achieve success than those who have great talent but don’t learn how to use it.

3.      Skills – Learning good skills are what set the average student apart from the exceptional student.  It takes practice, and successful practice is what produces those skills.

4.      Habits – Children thrive on routine.  Good study habits ensure a student will be well prepared and efficient in their studies.  Time and life management habits as well as study habits are important to develop.  The sooner you start practicing good habits, the better chance you will have for lifelong success.

Reading is crucial for academic success!  Here are a few tips from the workshop on selecting the right book for your young reader.  While reading the first page of a book, count the unknown words.  If there are five or more, the book is too hard for now.  Read that book together.

The book that is just right is one that your child can read independently.  It is not too hard and it is not too easy.  It’s just right for their level.

When selecting a book take into consideration the size of the print, the length of the book, the amount of pictures, and the number of unfamiliar words.  Books should be interesting to the child and they should be able to figure out most of the words.

Thanks Bridgewater Mom's!

Thanks Bridgewater Mom's!
You were great!  Remember the ATM method of positive discipline!

Parent Workshop

Kangaroo Kids Child Care & Learning Center will host a Parent Workshop entitled, “Preparing Your Child for Success,” Tuesday November 9^th at 7pm.  Topics will include academic preparation, social/emotional and behavioral preparation, teaching etiquette, and how to create a supportive household.  Admission is a can of food for the food bank and the workshop open to all parents.  For further information call 908-231-7800 or email staff@kangarookidschildcare.com.  The workshop will be held at Kangaroo Kids Child Care & Learning Center, 1047 Route 28, Branchburg, NJ.

Discipline: An Opportunity To Teach

Discipline is an opportunity to teach.

 Start by creating a YES environment for children.  They need to climb, explore, and experiment.  Create an environment where they can be successful and meet their developmental needs. 

Here are a few examples of how you can turn a negative comment into a YES comment:

Negative message:                                         Positive Message

Don’t climb on the furniture                             Let’s go to the park to climb

Stop yelling                                                     Use your inside voice

Don’t run                                                        Use your walking feet

You can also redirect unacceptable behavior like throwing toys into acceptable behavior by having the child help you fold socks and throw them into the laundry basket.  This serves many purposes, it fulfills their need to throw, helps you get the laundry done, gives a positive message, encourages sharing family responsibility and it can be just plain fun!

“A torn jacket is soon mended. But harsh words bruise the heart of a child”     by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow