Catch Them Doing It Right

Catch them doing it right!  Praise is much more likely to motivate us to do a task well than negative reinforcement.   If we work to “catch our children doing it right,” we not only motivate them to continue doing the task correctly but we enhance their self image.  When you catch a child doing it right, make sure your comments are sincere and specific!  Instead of saying, “Good job!” say,”Good job!   I like the way you organized your toys on the shelf.”  With patient repetition, you’ll be enjoying the results of encouraging the desired behavior.

Give Children Choices

Drill Sergeants may work in the Army but not when it comes to raising children! Give children choices.   If we want children to make good choices when the stakes are high, we must give them opportunities to make decisions when they are toddlers.  

·         Choice is a great way to redirect a child.  For example, if a child is throwing his or her toys you can respond by saying, “You may not throw your toys, but you can toss these balls into the hoop,” or “Help me fold the socks and toss them into the laundry basket.”   Young children need to run, climb, throw and explore.  Your goal should be to find acceptable outlets for these developmentally appropriate activities.

·         Of course, as parents, you need to make the major decisions like which school is best for your child and any issues regarding health and safety  but, whether they wear the red outfit or blue or eat string beans or carrots really does not matter but gives them an opportunity to make a choice between two good alternatives.

·         Choice helps children learn how to make good decisions.

·         Be careful not to give too many choices.  In most cases, two is a good number.

·         Choice let’s children feel they have some control over their own decisions.

·         Giving children some control over their choices shows them you trust their judgment. 

·         Perhaps most importantly, making their own choices helps children learn to be responsible for their decisions.

Taking Memorable Photos!

Photo tips – Memories are created during holiday time and camera lights are flashing!  To make the most of your holiday photos here are a few tips:

Ø  Fill the frame – Make sure your subject is the largest thing in your view finder.

Ø  Check your background - Before you push the button look at your background and move trash containers or move away from messy shelves.

Ø  Watch your lighting – try to avoid taking photos directly in front of windows.  When taking photos outside have your back to the sun.

Ø  Scenery shots – Put a subject in your landscape shots to make them more interesting.  Keep the subject close to you rather than close to the scenery.

Ø  Saving photos – You want to be able to find these treasures to share with Grandchildren some day so make sure you have a system for saving them.  I found the best system for me is to save all my photos by year-month-day and subject, e.g., 2010-12-10 Santa.  It is better to use numerical dates for your photo files since the names of the months aren’t in alphabetical order when spelled out.  Numerical dates will keep your photos grouped together in the order they occurred throughout the year.  Additionally, if you need to search by subject, labeling in this manner will give you easy access.  Thanks to Kangaroo Kids Alumni parent, Bob Miksztal for sharing that tip with me years ago.  It has allowed me to access thousands of files over the years!

Ø  Enjoy creating memories!

Build Relationships With Your Children

Build relationships now!  The old fashioned days of dinner bell at 5:00 and the whole family getting together  for a meal may be a fleeting memory but it is important to make time to share stories, and listen to the events of your child’s day.  Even if you can only manage to arrange a family meal on the weekend or at breakfast time, try to schedule time together that allows for conversation. 

Take time to listen to your child today.  You will be building the foundation for continued good communications for the future, which may not always be easy as your child gets older and begins to assert his independence.  When he or she faces more difficult and challenging decisions, that good connection you established early on will make it easier for him to turn to you with questions and for advice.

Building relationships by:

·         Actively listen

·         Speaking  with children at their eye level

·         Having respectful conversations

·         Asking open ended questions, which are questions that don’t have a one word answer.

·         Planning activities that create memories – serving food at a shelter, creating handmade holiday decorations, or having a family talent night.

·         Taking advantage of spontaneous opportunities that come your way!  Whether it is splashing in a puddle, or baking cookies together, these occasions will be the subject of many “Remember when we…?” conversations in the years to come.

·         Cuddling up together with a good book.

·         Staying involved!  Visit your child’s school; chaperone a dance or a class trip; attend his or her sporting events plays or concerts.  Even though your child may seem a little sheepish at times because it is his or her parent who is at the dance, as they mature the memory of your involvement will have a lasting and positive effect.

It is not always the amount of time you spend but the quality of time you spend with your child.  So, turn off the TV, computer and cell phones and make the time you have together meaningful!