Raising A Grateful Child

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks!  Today there are many concerns about the ever growing sense of entitlement instead of the sense of community, and hard work ethic of past generations.  So how can you begin to instill in your children as sense of caring and appreciation?

As always the best way to teach children is through role modeling.  Is “thank you,” a regularly used phrase around your house?  Do you as a parent show appreciation for a job well done?  Bedtime is a great time to share stories about what you are thankful for and to ask children about things that occurred during the day that made them feel thankful.  At Kangaroo Kids every family brings in a can or box of food to school before Thanksgiving that is donated to the local food bank.   Even young children can learn to appreciate what they have and to help others that are less fortunate.

Here are some great ideas from Homa Tavangar,  “10 Ways to Raise  Grateful Kid.”

When my favorite uncle first met my daughter, then age three, he enthusiastically hugged her and gave her a toy he'd brought all the way from Uganda. My daughter wouldn't even hold it, let alone say "Thank you." I was mortified.

My daughter is now 17, and looking back, I realize that many factors could have contributed to her behavior: being unprepared for such exuberance, her natural shyness and biology. Kids under seven have difficulty understanding others' feelings and being internally motivated to do the right thing. Nonetheless, parents can actively, gently instill a sense of gratitude.

The matter goes way beyond etiquette. According to research by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, "people who practice gratitude feel considerably happier (25%) than those in a control group; they are more joyful, enthusiastic, interested, and determined."

An attitude of gratitude helps us thrive. Try these steps to instill a mind-set of gratitude in your little ones.

1.      Say "Thank you." When "thank yous" are instilled in our vocabulary at home, a lifelong practice begins, even if it doesn't stick at first. You can gently restate a sentence with polite language inserted, or suggest saying "Thank you" together.

2.      Live it. Set an example and show appreciation by conveying you paid attention to real effort: "Your room looks so nice with the toys in their bins. I'm so happy that you remembered to put them away!"

3.      Teach through role play. If your little one is too shy to say "thank you" in a social setting, they can pretend to teach their stuffed animals or dolls to do so, while you play along.

4.      Create daily or weekly routines. A regular question, "What are you most thankful for today?" can serve as a comforting routine at bedtime or a highlight of a weekly dinner ritual.

5.      Give concrete examples. At dinner, you can play the Rose and Thorn game, where the person whose turn it is to speak holds a rose and tells about one rose (a good thing) and one thorn (a challenging thing). A metaphor like the rose helps children develop gratitude even when things aren't going their way. Keeping the rose in a vase all week serves as another reminder of coping with natural ups and downs. Books like The Giving Tree, Have You Filled a Bucket Today? and Mama Panya's Pancakes offer simple, powerful metaphors of virtues.

6.      Set expectations when shopping. Melanie Etemad of Bryn Mawr, PA shared a useful approach that her husband, a psychiatrist, came up with when their daughter Elyse was just two: "We’d say today is a 'look' day. Just like going to the museum, we enjoy the beautiful things, but we aren't planning to buy anything. ... We also tried to ensure that there were more 'look' days than 'buy' days, specifically to inoculate against the idea of always buying things, knowing that it breeds discontent. Now, at age six, Elyse knows that most of the time when we go out, we are not necessarily planning to buy anything and has the habit to ask if today is a 'look' day or a 'buy' day."

7.      Make giving and volunteering a habit. Set aside toys and clothing in good condition. Deliver the items to a deserving cause together. Talk about the process and why you care. Tap into organizations like Global Giving that offer a virtual marketplace for making a difference.

8.      Create gratitude gift lists. Alongside a holiday or birthday gift wish list, for every item, family members can list something they are grateful for. These are the "priceless" gifts. By generating the list in a beautiful way, you demonstrate how valuable the alternate list is; it can be a keepsake for years to come.

9.      Thank those who serve. Your example of acknowledging those who quietly make a difference in your life, from the bus driver to the person sweeping up the aftermath of a family lunch out, sends a powerful message to your children. Likewise, organizations like Operation Gratitude and Blue Star Families remember those serving in the military. Kathy Roth-Douquet, Founder and Chair of Blue Star Families, says, "In addition to a thank-you letter, we ask the participant to pledge to do some form of community service ... thanks and appreciation is best when it involves action, and a sense of all being in a worthwhile effort together."

10.   Be patient. Kids can't be cajoled into showing appreciation, but your gentle efforts and examples will instill gratitude as a way of life.

Tips on Raising a Grateful Child

Encouraging Creativity

Why is getting messy and creating those lovely works of art that you can't quite give a name to important?  One of the strengths of our country has always been being creative and resourceful.  As we move more and more towards testing and product based projects and worksheet education in young children's programs we are creating rote learners instead of creative thinkers.  If you doubted the value of process based hands on learning and the value of getting messy read this post.  It is a great article by Cindy Rzasa Bess, Ph.D. a Professional Speaker/Trainer, Developmental Psychologist, Education Consultant in her November Newsletter 

Art Smart from the Start

Back when I was a little girl, I always believed that giving my parents a hand made gift was the ultimate expression of love.  I made kiddie-loomed pot holders and clay animals; original paintings worthy of a popsicle stick frame; and, even the ever popular orange juice can converted into a pencil holder.  When we were going through my dad’s things after his passing I was stunned to find a drawer containing fifteen OJ can pencil holders!  He kept everyone!  Apparently my belief about the ultimate expression of love went both ways!  It was a very touching moment for me, to say the least!

Encouraging and supporting the flow of personal creative self-expression in a young child is one of the greatest gifts an adult can give him or her. Providing the chance for a preschooler to dabble in the arts and try new experiences is priceless and precious.  Unleashing his or her inner creativity, which ultimately follows its own path to self-expression, is a precious present.  Acknowledging that he or she is a wonderful and creative individual, capable of making great things that beautify the world is a meaningful message.

Hands-on learning through individual creativity should be highly prized in the education process.  Refraining from demanding conformity from these young hearts and minds is only fair at this tender age.  Imagination should be given a chance to grow, blossom, and flourish before the shackles of compliance are clapped shut.  It is okay for bears to be pink or green; and its fine for bunnies to have five ears.  It is alright for the wheels on the bus to be square; it makes for an interesting ride. Children have a whole lifetime to conform to societal expectations and to eventually admit that bears are black, brown and white.  Why force them to give up their innocent, inventive, and innovative perspective in favor of the old boring one adults share?  Teachers who are in touch with their own inner child know this truth, and do not squelch individual creative self-expression, but instead honor it and give it space to thrive.

Children learn best through doing.  They are by nature curious little beings.  They love to try new things and explore and experience the world, and their place in it. Jean Piaget said that young children construct their own knowledge by interacting with their environment.  They learn by doing solving problems and experiencing their options.  There are so many places in the Early Childhood Classroom where they can explore and experience their creative and inventive self:  The music center, the dramatic play area, the science center and the art center.  Even the block area and the fine motor small building toys allow for the child to create new structures and discover their ability to change the world through their action.  There is nothing greater than seeing the smile of accomplishment as it crosses a child’s face.  They know they have done something valuable and often show you their work with pride, with the accompanying announcement of “I did it!”

How can Artistic Self-expression be included in the ECE classroom?

· Incorporate Visual arts - drawing, painting, sculpting (play dough), making textiles (weaving), creating collages

· Encourage Language Arts - Discuss rhyming and create a group poem, write stories as a class, write a book of tales as a group and add it to the book nook

· Enjoy Performing Arts – Theater (putting on a puppet show, re-enacting a fairy tale);

       Singing (to the group or leading the group in song);

       Dance (music and movement)

Why offer Art?

Creative Art enables:  Self-expression

                                                   Communication of ideas -- without words

                                                   The discovery of one’s self

                                                   Exploration of the physical world and its properties

                                                   Learning to follow directions

                                                   Acquiring new skills, mastering and redefining them

                                                   Thinking “Out of the Box”

                                                   Cooperation and collaboration

                                                   Demonstration of persistence and tenacity

   Expansion of vocabulary

   Extension of experience

But most important of all it says to a child, you do not need someone else to provide toys and produce special things for you, for you are capable of making them yourself to use, play with and enjoy!

Process versus Product Art

Believe it or not there is a place for both in the early childhood classroom.   However the rule of thumb should be Process Art always available, Product Art occasionally incorporated.  Children can benefit from having an activity that requires active listening and following directions.  Examples can be replicated every one in a long while. But, these projects should be done rarely and be used as a means for assessment. Although parents like to see the standard choo-choo train made from colorful pre-cut paper shapes, or the duck made of glued yellow feathers come home, it is not the best way to teach a child about art and the true creative experience.  Real art comes from within.  Children should be encouraged to be the artists that they are within their own being.  Art should not be a method for assessment. Refrain from doing “product art” too often, after all they have a whole life time to bend to society’s will.  This is the time for active, unencumbered fun, and self-expression.

Whenever you work with a child, encourage imagination and creativity wherever you can. Refrain from asking young children to conform to a preconceived idea of who they should be, what they should be doing and encourage freedom of expression in language, in art and in play (Of course, within limits.)  When a child is allowed to produce original work there is a greater process going on.  They are able to define their own area of interest and way of interacting with the materials.  They are able to define and develop their own plan of action and are able to solve problems in unique ways as they happen.

When children are encouraged to be creative in their pursuits they:

· Learn to work through events                     

· Recreate things they know or situations they have encountered

· Make sense of the bigger world                 

· Grasp the importance and value of symbols through representation

· Enhance their self-esteem                           

· Increase motor skill development and refinement

· Become more independent                         

· Develop new cognitive skills and learn new concepts

· Feel more competent                                   

· Develop stronger social skills

· Understand qualities or properties of materials (sticky glue, runny paint, etc.)

Also, when they are encouraged to try new things and create something that comes from their own brain, we are encouraging innovation and invention in later development.  When they are forced to conform to predetermined and preconceived patterns, their own creativity is squelched.

However, children can make their own space ships and cars from simple classroom materials, and these can be constant reminders that they can make significant contributions to their own world.  By making children aware of their potential as creators and producers, we empower them to break free of the consumer role that the business community would gladly have them fill.

Please be respectful of a child’s art work and realize the value it holds for him or her.  There is nothing sadder than to see a child deflate as a teacher writes directly on his or her picture.  If you as an adult really NEED to note it is a picture of a house and of Mommy, do so on a post it note that can be peeled off, rather than on the child’s actual art work.  Just because you are bigger than him or her, doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to “graffiti” his or her work.  Showing respect for a child’s efforts is vital and also considerate. Encourage, acknowledge, and offer the chance to be creative, constructive and productive.

Please also realize that there are many children who are dissuaded from painting and using messy materials in the home.  If they don’t have time in the early childhood setting to discover the different textures and tactile experiences that come with messy art, a whole part of the self-to-be might never come to fruition.  Doing is the key to learning.  Being with the materials is the key to understanding them in relation to the self.

Hopefully when the beautiful masterpieces come home, they are given a prized place for display and are not relegated to the 3” deep with artwork refrigerator museum.   Nothing sends a stronger message to a young child than to see his or her parents frame a piece of artwork and display it prominently in the home.

Kangaroo Kids Teachers Attend State Conference

Kangaroo Kids Child Care and Learning Center teachers attended a statewide conference on Early Childhood Education to learn the latest curriculum, research based knowledge on child development and classroom management tools.  The return back to school with new ideas and techniques to enhance children’s learning opportunities. 

The focus of this year’s conference was on STEM, preparing children for the future. STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. This educational focus has become a top priority across all sectors of our society. In January 2010, President Obama released $250 million to support the “Educate to Innovate” Campaign to support STEM education. Educators, in public-private partnerships with corporations, foundations and collaboration with the U.S. Department of Education’s Race to the Top Fund were asked to prioritize programs that offer rigorous courses and to help prepare students for careers in STEM fields.

NAEYC is the world’s largest organization working on behalf of young children.  There are nearly 100,000 members worldwide. They advocate for children and provide educational programs throughout the country. The upcoming year’s theme is “Celebrating Our Youngest Learners.”  The National Association for the Education of Young Children conducts an accreditation program where only very high quality programs can earn their torch of excellence.  Kangaroo Kids is one of the few accredited centers in the area and according to NAEYC, “high quality programs provide a safe and nurturing environment while promoting the development of young children.”

For more information about Kangaroo Kids or workshops they conduct call 908-231-7800 or visit their website at www.kangarookidschildcare.com